| Remember Teri Hatcher doing those impossible | | | | warm invitation to what Susan Bremer calls |
| splits right on the studio floor on Oprah? Or | | | | our 'Shadow" side. 'Every woman wants to take |
| Carmen Electra positively gushing about what | | | | a trip to their wild side" she explains, 'We |
| exotic dance has done for her body and | | | | all yearn to seduce. But we've been told over |
| bedroom tactics? A large number of | | | | and over again that to rejoice in our body is |
| celebrities have recently taken to a sexy | | | | immoral, yet the wish to feel powerful in our |
| alternative to working out, from pole | | | | sensuality, to express our sexuality |
| vaulting they have leapt straight to pole | | | | remains." Susan, a proud 'Gentleman club' |
| dancing at the S Factor. And they aren't | | | | dancer considers her sexual prowess to be her |
| stopping at pole-dancing, our celebrity | | | | way of establishing her role in a world |
| pin-up girls have been everywhere and done | | | | hounded by men. "When I'm at work," she says |
| everything, from Strip-Aerobics to Exotic | | | | "I'm surrounded by men in coats and ties - |
| Dance Work Outs, the motto this season is | | | | bosses and underlings, jocks and nerds. All |
| 'Everything sexy goes'! | | | | of them are the kinds of men who made me feel |
| | | | small. But now I can reduce the top dog to a |
| If all this sudden gush for sex is making you | | | | lapdog by staring at him, opening my top, and |
| blush, you go ahead and click your tongue and | | | | smiling". |
| hang your head in shame, no one will begrudge | | | | |
| you. "SEX SELLS" and we are being sold it | | | | This sense of power probably needs some |
| morning, noon and night through every | | | | delving into. As women all of us suffer from |
| possible channel. It screams at you from | | | | our own insecurities. It's a cliché by now |
| gigantic billboards featuring gorgeous | | | | but we all know that the world belongs to the |
| demi-love-gods, pierces into your fantasy's | | | | testosterone thugs. They keep us down |
| through the television and fondles your | | | | everywhere, be it in our boardroom or our |
| imagination with semi-naked bodies scattered | | | | bedroom. And slowly we grow used to being |
| all over the net. Living in the USA is in | | | | kept down, such that we soon we are |
| itself like one giant, prolonged orgasm...and | | | | conditioned to not reversing the situation at |
| as a woman you are expected to idolize those | | | | all. |
| models and endeavor to look like one. | | | | |
| | | | A positive sex-image, whether you use it or |
| Sure you wanna be Carrie from 'Sex and the | | | | not, can and will alter all this most |
| City' and moan and groan and roll around on | | | | miraculously. Your sexual achievements in the |
| your bed with a different guy every night, | | | | bedroom can give you the kind of omnipotent |
| seven nights a week turning your life into a | | | | confidence which oozes out from your personal |
| series of fantastic sexual escapades....but | | | | to public sphere. For any woman with low |
| you'll snap out of it, after all life is not | | | | self-esteem, the act of embracing your |
| a TV show, and learning how to embrace your | | | | sexuality serves as a miracle tool for |
| sexuality takes time and effort. | | | | believing that she can have that effect on |
| | | | other people, in a non-sexual environment |
| In America amongst the glamour of the TV | | | | too. |
| shows and the supposed sexual abandonment, | | | | |
| the skin and the G-Strings, we women have to | | | | The thing is, much as we try to shake it off, |
| deal with mixed messages, guilt trips, | | | | we are all sexual beings, sex is important to |
| religious dogma, body image, and | | | | us and it has the power to make us feel good. |
| misinformation. Sure getting your hymen | | | | 65% of women in the US do not, at their heart |
| snapped by 16 is a must, but so is regretting | | | | of hearts, take this idea seriously. Good sex |
| doing it by 25. Beneath all our external | | | | and an attempt to have good sex for them is |
| frills, getting laid is an issue we women | | | | still a nudge-nudge-whisper-whisper issue. |
| deal with badly. | | | | This attitude gets transferred from them to |
| | | | their kids and grandkids and so on, such that |
| The concept of 'Positive Sex' is an idea not | | | | each generation of these young women grow up |
| many of us have managed to fathom yet. | | | | with the idea that every time they are making |
| Fornication is still, essentially a male | | | | love they ought to feel guilty about it. This |
| domain, where we women participate like | | | | mystifying of the subject is harmful for a |
| whimpering goats, hesitating and | | | | lot of reasons. For starters it gives us a |
| interestingly enough feeling insecure about | | | | lifelong baggage of guilt, every time we |
| our role in it all. | | | | think about sex, every time we fantasize or |
| | | | our hands itch to masturbate we feel like a |
| A majority of women I know swear by making | | | | criminal. The constant feeling that sex is |
| love in the dark. 'It's romantic' they coo | | | | wrong or dirty leads to a negative self-image |
| when I ask them the point of that. Here's | | | | as a person. That misinformation means that |
| what I KNOW, most of us are ashamed of our | | | | when we are in the act it can be hard to |
| body. Nudity is a concept we haven't been | | | | enjoy it, leading to severe sexual |
| taught to handle well. Seeing ourselves naked | | | | frustration, not a feeling you'd like to |
| freaks us out, and knowing that someone else | | | | carry around with you. |
| is watching us naked, desiring our body for | | | | |
| itself, brings to life our worst fears. This | | | | This discussion might go on and on, because |
| is the gaze our parents warned us against, | | | | of our trouble to face the fact that we like |
| this is what Church lessons have told us to | | | | getting laid. But let's just say, it all has |
| avoid. So off goes the light, plunging | | | | a very easy solution. Get in to your sexiest |
| everything, from ourselves, to that desirous | | | | lacy underwear, devote tonight to unleashing |
| gaze, to our insecurities, into comforting | | | | the temptress in you and for once really |
| darkness. | | | | enjoy it without hang-ups. You will like the |
| | | | results tomorrow morning. |
| The truth is that the darkness serves as a | | | | |